Brave But Completely Unprepared!

Write about your strongest memory of heart-pounding belly-twisting nervousness: what caused the adrenaline? Was it justified? How did you respond?

It was suggested that I quickly run for an office of Secretary in the AFSCME Union I agreed. I was not nervous, I casually walked up to speak I carried a piece of paper which spoke about me in glowing terms. The problem was the glowing terms were written to be left on the table for interested voters to read. I had been so pleased with the high praise that I must have felt nothing could go wrong. That was until I looked at the Union Members, all waiting for a poised confident speech.  The members looked disgruntled I had not realized what the faces of the opposition might look like. They looked like a New York crowd waiting for entertainment, not only did they expect to be wowed by me but they expected a prepared speaker something, I was not. I felt like I was going to perish I mumbled a few words trailing off with” we need new blood!”

The younger fiercer me!
The younger fiercer me!

I asked members in my corner why they did not help me out or ask me a question. They gently told me they could not think of anything to ask the terrified me. Oddly I heard the opposition repeating my only contribution ” we need new blood”!

Years later, while listing to an educational channel the topic was” How to speak confidently by practicing ones speach”.  I had a very dry ah ha moment.
I did attempt to speak again for a business writing class I used humour. I was comfortable , invincible, entertaining! I   heard the laughs, and was in my element this was so easy! There was one problem, I did not remember one word that I said. Not one sylable, nada, zero nothing ?

No one to blame but myself and of course my husband

Why do we make things so hard for ourselves?  We put things in places were they will not easily be found .  We put things on top shelves that constantly fall down.  We build nest of messes that offend us and take increasingly longer times to dismantle and fix why oh! Why are we so hard on ourselves?

Once my husband and I decided to come up with a housekeeping method we wrote all the chores on index cards now what do you think happened? The grand plan failed us miserably because our plan kept us busy day and night.  We cleaned, we attempted to organized, and eventually we gave up the plan and did chores as they were needed. We haven’t inflicted a plan on ourselves in the last twenty years.  Now is the time to try again but change the players in the game.

The answer to our problem is a  housekeeper/organizer to help us get rid of things not worthy of keeping. Putting a limit of like items that need no repeating if you own many rulers but cannot find one when needed one placed well makes better sense.  Its great to be green and recycle but kicking cloth grocery bags out of our way is  a waste of time and money bunched up in a corner one begins to remember at least plastic was smaller. One only needs so many beer bottle cozies,and water bottles. Unless you can use paper towelling and toilet paper as furniture storage gets to be a problem. Who wants a house that looks like a warehouse. What is really meant by storage if something is stationary is it storage or garbage.  Media keeps changing how much needs to be kept for backup. I never thought my problem would be having to much I always worried about not having enought. I do not want to be a slave to possessions.  Old leather coats should not be thrown away but they are a great donation. Having missed countless pickup dates for deserving not profits it is clear we need to drop off our annoying excesses. Baby toys bore the heck out of grandchildren why do we still have them. I think if someone keeps a clean house that is orderly they deserve to be congratulated and certainly not taken for granted.  Yes, I could do it and I have been trying however this mess is gaining. We suck at cleaning now let’s see if we will do better at maintaining and let the professionals help us.

When things are clean they stay cleaner when they are messy they just get messier. I want to keep things that having meaning and I want there to be a diserable difference between keepsake and mistake.

I can’t be the only one

I can’t be the only one that trys to make the internet and computers work but keeps getting tangled in problems.  Right now I cannot mail out.

 

What does that mean it means what i set out to do will have to wait, and I will have to find away not to feel guilty for my lack of progress in a class I am attempting to take. 

 

There is always an update, there is always an app, there is always something beyond my understanding I would like for changes to stop coming, there seems to be a bug in every progressive option.

my ipad refuses to register  under my name which means books I have purchased will not load. really my ipad is listed under my husband’s name!

yet I do feel responsible, like I should have put more effort into undersanding the whole set up, sometimes I have felt like I was getting somewhere and the understanding was do able. Then suddenly mail goes down then ipad gets locked then email will not go out time consuming and irritation replace the productivety I was hoping for. 

Is it me is it the operating system, is it a server problem ,