Stop

Do you have any idea how bad you made me feel its a pain that lingers and one that you should know better than to aim at me. As my daughter you need to do better. The rest of the world does whatever time and age takes a tole but this kind of meanness makes me remember all the other times you were so careless.

I can’t believe I am writing this that I am here again. The things you said aren’t true it must be someone else’s mom. You say I don’t care about your feelings I do care. Sometimes you make things worse and that’s what you have done. Not attempting to make sense just throwing accusations. I don’t understand why we slipped said something that shouldn’t be said with you in the room. You pounced on it blew it up you even managed to get angry when asked to stop.

Stopping is what you needed to do. Making me pay is a vindictive thing an intentional premeditated assault based on judgements so negative there are no words to express.

The shock value of swearing at me. I am 71 I am your mother there are people in my age group dying in droves and your here wasting time telling me I am selfish telling me I only care about my own feelings all of these things I never said things you made up in an effort to destroy my character. So how do we come back from this I have no idea the next time your in some mental pain and you want some comfort I suggest you take a minute.

Ask you self. Do I want to throw accusations around do I want to play dirty lower the bar. Show my fangs be meaner then ever. What daughter does this say about you. I never taught you this. You say your depressed I have no doubt if this is the way you think. Thoughts unchecked really how could you feel good.

You ran away from home leaving me with no hint. Do you understand how cruel. To wonder were you alive were you dead we chased you down. That was a night mare this is another.

I can’t think of anyone who wishes to hurt you yet your always having issues with your neighbors people you hardly know. At some point you need to look in the mirror and ask what can I do to be a better person how can I help myself if I have to take care of myself what can I do not to be a target. The thoughts you entertain aren’t helping you depression is something I am familiar with your far from alone. It can be brought about in many ways things not your fault but being mean and hating on people is asking for it inviting it. Your words and deeds don’t just disappear they don’t evaporate they boomerang they come back in the end if you don’t learn to survive if you don’t learn to be kind if you can’t stop judging and hating if you can’t find some restraint than nothing I ever said or did could hurt you more than you not raising the bar for yourself.

This last thing reminds me that your not doing as well as you need to you need to fix this and stop blaming me,